Spring Unsprawling Backwards

It always starts with an emotion. I’ll pretend it’s not there, then it will get so loud that it’s screaming, & I’ll realize that I ain’t gone on a walk in a few days. I start walking, mulling it over, enjoying the sights, the sounds, the fresh spring foraging. Then a line in my head, if I love myself enough in that particular moment, I’ll write it down. But that’s just the spark, If you want to burn your fire hot; you gotta keep it alive. Keep feeding it words, feeling it out. Speak the words, listen to them, they will tell you what they wish to become. & before long, you get to witness the beauty of a flower of words blossom into something wonderful & unexpected. The pain of today is the poem of tomorrow!

There is beauty in the pain, but you've got to look for it! To be simultaneously staggered by one's finality, & in awe that it happened at all. Just like the pretty words bouncing around in my head, just like the plant that came from the seed, the human that came from the womb. And, if it were not for this poetry, I genuinely don't know how I could have coped with whatever the fuck my life even is.

Sometimes I feel like I can’t open up to anyone, even myself. That’s a really scary thing to feel. I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone other than a rock named Matka.

That’s sort of how this project was born. When I ended up jobless, I just planned the next week to be for writing, smoking weed & listening to David Berman. It was a good week, ‘bout half of the poems from this project were made in that one week period. This is not healthy art creation, please don't be like me, I have a mental disorder. I just knew that I needed to write some poems, and a lot of them, & spring has a wonderful way of sucking the words straight out of your skull with a straw. In fact, I’ve written about that too.

I’m going to include a couple essays about art that I like, one about Hamnet & another about David Berman. Please do enjoy them too if you like essays & art.

So without further ado, please enjoy Spring Unsprawling Backwards.

~ Lewa💚